They pull it off every year. These whacky battles just confound my expectations.
For instance: Christian Porter is knocked out of The Voice. Oh the humanity! Christian was one of my top favorites from the blind auditions.
Meanwhile, who would have thunk it, but Usher–the man destined to rein as coach supreme–broke his little red-headed girl, Miss Taylor Beckham. Broke her. As in, he– Usher–just snapped her confidence in two. Why would he do a think like that? What was he thinking? Meanwhile, who knew her confidence would snap so easily?
Here’s what happened: It was a three punch knock out:
First he gave her a song that was way beyond her years and experience to convey. Amy Winehouse had been to hell and back by the time she was 17. Miss Taylor didn’t become an olympic gymnast hopeful by being trouble and letting people know she was no good.
Then, while Taylor’s hopelessly lost trying to find her inner sexy button, Usher attempts to help. He walks off a ways and saying to lure him in. Bring it, Taylor. But he’s Usher. Usher! I mean, the guy oozes seduction. What unprepared woman would be able to handle that? I’m sure she found the experience surreal. Why oh why couldn’t he have thrown some pimply PA down a dark corridor and let her try to give her inner siren call a whirl with that dude? Then maybe she won’t have been so overwhelmed.
The last straw was when, lost and bewildered, she just needed a hug. Instead, Usher wrapped up the session in a professional way, giving her a few more helpful notes in a very nice sounding voice. But it wasn’t the help she needed. She didn’t find a way into the song and now she wasn’t going to, because time was up. That’s when we saw her confidence snap. Poor Taylor crawled away, still lost and already defeated. Hopefully Blake–who’s good with youngin’s–can put her back together.
Then there are the folks who I NEVER expected to make it this far. Swon Brothers I’m looking at you. Okay I get it. The older one is funny. He’s fast on his feet. He and Blake have a natural rapport. He gets Blake and Blake gets him. I’m still sore about it.
Then there’s Garrett. He sounded better than the other guy, I’m just amazed that he did sound better than the other guy. Still not a huge fan, Garrett. It’s probably not your fault. I’ll admit it, I just don’t care for your stinkin’ looks. It’s totally subjective.
Some of the rounds were so good–here’s the best one of the evening.
Now let’s talk strategy. I think Blake is doing chess player moves. Surely people want to see a duo get farther than they have the past three seasons. If he’s looking a few rounds ahead, I bet he matches the Swon Bros. up against the Twins so that a duo makes it to the third round.
Let me make some predictions: I think that Adam’s team is going to look scary strong by the end of the battle rounds but I think he’s still going to sound like a whiny twit.
Do you all have any predictions out there? I’d love to hear them.
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